last semester ever.... maybe

Tomorrow is the first day of Spring semester, my last semester of college, which is hard to imagine/comprehend. Intersession went by very fast and now its back to the grind. taking five classes, possible i might have to add a sixth, but let's hope not. bought my books today, one class had 14 books, one had 9, and two had 1 each, and one had none, so..... i came home with 26 books. heavy heavy load, luckily i was at the bookstore after an art brigade meeting with ham and nona d and michael was there so he drove me back to my apt. ginger lumber jack hopped into the car on the way because he spotted us and needed help running an errand on shifty street near shifty, inferior liquor store. discussed focaccia with him and other bread goods. only way to not make it awkward with a boy you know for a fact used to have a thing for you and who knows you were nowhere near interested in him but want to be his friend is to limit the conversation to the only two common interests you have: baking and conspiracy theories. we always either discuss bread or zombies or aliens. anyways, it was less awkward than usual so wooot. great to see ham again and be reunited with her and nona d, or donasaur as we now call her, as we are the power trio! we had a lot of work to do for art brigade so our meeting was like 3 hours long, but we ate at carma's so it was tolerable, plus at least an hour was spent catching up. i had an apple alexander and a honey cappuccino, standard. the split pea soup looked more like green mashed potatoes and the girl eating it at the table near the front did not look particularly enthused so i went for the old standby instead of trying the soup.

speaking of soup, i made over the weekend a delicious curry- butternut squash- sweet-potato-apple soup that is soooo delicious! slightly sweet from the apples (though i used granny smith so not overly sweet), spicy from the curry, creamy, thick, warming, squashy..... major yum. thanks barefoot contessa, as always, inalicious! the reckster is supposed to get back tonight, Smcinty too, but seeing as its 1:23 am and neither have showed, I guess it's going to be Monday arrivals for them both. Miss them both but Jenbot and I have bonded a lot which is great. We have had regular date nights which ranged from cooking and watching bones on the couch (with wine), football party with homemade snack foods, going out to dinner or bars, and more often drinking tea and crafting while watching tv like the little old ladies we are. it's cold as balls but my new coat is awesome, though still entirely too big on me. never managed to get it altered when i was home. i'll wait till there's a warm week (above 37) and then i'll take it to some taylor michael recommended. speaking of, i haven't talked to taylor-dailurgh in ages. i miss her. she's awful at keeping in touch, though it's not like i'm super great. i should send her an email since she never responds to texts or gchats. i want to see philadelphia before i finish school on the east coast, or we could make a trip to dc together and see all the GW APA crew.

I was super nostalgic for France last night, and my experience there, and gruyere cheese. i was just missing the sense of adventure i had while there and how everything was a new experience, and just thinking back to how this time last year i was just starting off on my french semester, well, it's kind of sad now that it's over and a year away from present time. i loved france and want to go back, and i miss all my friends from the program. i was also anxious last night and kept having half asleep dreams that someone i knew was in the hospital. first it was annie, my biffle, and i had to go to upstate ny where she lives to see her in the hospital, she was in a coma and her parents were considering pulling the plug and wanted me to be able to say goodbye. talk about the absolute worst nightmare i've ever had, and i wasn't even fully asleep. even after i snapped out of that dream, i kept feeling anxious and sad about hospitals and sickness, until finally i fell asleep around 5 am. today i found out that my grandpa is in the hospital, admitted yesterday, and seems like he had a small stroke. he's fine now and there were no lasting effects, but it was bigger than the TFA he had during Rosh HaShanah, but the man is 88 it's bound to happen. he's almost 90 for goodness' sake. Still, the thought of him dying is absolutely unbelievable. he's my last living grandparent, since my mom is estranged from her family so i don't have contact with her father, who is most likely still alive because we haven't heard otherwise. frankly he's an awful person so i don't care one way or another, but my dad's dad, grandpa arthur, i love whole heartedly and being near him in college (since he lives in Maryland) has been such a treat for me as i saw him only once a year as a kid. Two of my good friends have lost their grandfathers lately, so that on top of the dream anxiety and the fact he's in the hospital have me on edge. He's spending the night just for observation and more tests, and he's on a new medication that should help, but i can't help but worry. i made him a scarf for his birthday this winter, and seeing his reaction to it and how special it was for him that i made it just for him was probably my most rewarding experience of 2010. i'm not ready to lose him just yet.

But he's fine, so I should stop waxing melodramatic and get to sleep. School tomorrow! Last first day of school possibly ever, and definitely for the next year or so! Wow! What a thought. I have no idea what I'm doing with my life but I am free and young and healthy and live in a peaceful democratic country where i have all my rights (what's up with egypt btw? i should call yoni) so i think i'm doing pretty well. fingers crossed for a good first impression tomorrow, maybe i'll even meet a cute boy!