Away Till Thursday

I'll be in New Orleans until next Thursday for a family vacation! Woooo! Here's to hoping I don't get horribly sick of all my relatives too quickly! Already dreaming of beignets. avec un cafe creme peut-etre? je le manque immensement, le cafe francais! mais tant pis, il y a des coffee bean and tea leafs ici en la californie, alors on ne peut pas plaindre. maybe i'll get to brush up on my french this week in Nola, though I don't know if the french down in La Nouvelle Orleans is too different from the french i know. i mean, french canadians are like a huge mystery to me as far as their language is concerned (a mix of modern french, pre-revolutionary french, and english. like the friction alkool!) so we'll see how New Orleans French compares. i should definitely be doing more french things this break so i don't forget everything. i must have a book in french around here someplace.

Ok then, off to sleep before my early flight tomorrow! A plus tard!

weekend

spent the day at e's helping her cook for the twenty family members she's expecting tomorrow. together we chopped up and then caramelized 13 onions to make onion tarts. a labor of love, let me tell you. love and onion-tears. mixed the caramelized onions with eggs, nutmeg, salt and pepper and put them in pie shells, topped with kalamata olives and baked. mmmm! then we watched easy a, after eating some trader joe's veggie pizza. surprisingly funny movie, and it was pretty cute. has this guy in it http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0046112/, like every teen romance movie ever, but he's super cute so i'm not complaining. if only he were more keatsian, then we'd be talking. it was great to see e and catch up after so long, hadn't seen her since summer. she gave me a mix cd which im excited to rock out to later.

been planning my etsy a lot, so many ideas it's hard to know what's a feasible of amount of projects to actually aim to get on there, and where to draw the line of whether the project would be worth the labor and process for the price i would get for it on etsy. i definitely need some stash busting projects since i have like 8 skeins of lime green yarn and a bunch of other random colors. smhm would tell me to make 10000000 lime green coasters. she would LOVE that. currently watching house and needlepointing, and one of the characters asked house, "why do you try so hard to not be human?" very interesting question, i think that's probably something we all struggle with. trying so hard to extend ourselves, be all we can be, push push push ourselves, reject normalcy, reject adequacy, strive for more. sometimes that's good. sometimes we all just need to chill the fuck out and take a power nap. that's my life philosophy. finally understand that after 4 years of hopkins and before that 4 years in a crazy demanding magnet program, constantly berating myself for not doing better, not getting the grades i felt i deserved and not achieving every single thing i set out to. but you know what? that shit doesn't really matter. i mean, of course it does, but not nearly as much as my academic institutions had me believe/would continue to have me believe. and also, i am doing pretty well, so i don't need to stress so much. thanks for liberating me, house reruns. awesome.
in other news, linzer cookies are soooo good. i should make some with the lingonberry jam we have back in baltimore. yummm! my brother told me he had a piece of gooseberry pie last night. first of all, what is a gooseberry? second of all, where did he go at 1 am on xmas eve night and find an open restaurant serving exotic pies? why, dupar's of course. you can always depend on diners, that's another life philosophy. power naps, diner's, humus, yogurt, crafting, and bear hugs. yup.

academic validation

all my grades except one have come up on the registrar website thing. so far, im feeling very validated! woooo! all my sleepless nights, stress and crazy zombieness are paying off. what's up dean's list, nice to see you again! (unless i fail cognition....which is unlikely, but you never know)

to celebrate, i ate a bowl of sugar-free, fat-free vanilla ice cream. nice shopping parents! that's not a pointless, bland excuse for ice cream at all! (mental note to introduce my mom to skinny cow bars) it wasn't that bad actually, but i covered it in rainbow sprinkles. fat-free dairy i'm all good with, skim milk all the way, but sugar-free anything tastes like splenda or the blue sugarthing in coffee...blegh! my dad likes the blue sugarthing. it's disgusting.

now im drinking a cup of verbena mint tea with raw honey in it, crocheting something new on the couch and watching curb your enthusiasm. winter break, i love you. have my babies! i'll have your babies! i'll do your laundry! i love you!

Current Craft Projects

Things I have Done Today:
1. woke up at 1 pm
2. made coffee
3. messed up in making the coffee which then leaked all over the counter and the floor
4. cleaned up coffee leak disaster
5. made toast
6. prayed to the weather gods to make it stop raining. it's been raining since I got home Friday. IT WILL NOT STOP. no sunshine. sad california weather. Here's a gratuitous shot of my backyard being bombarded by the downpour. Maybe you can't see the giant raindrops in the picture, but believe me, it's a deluge. We only get weather systems like this once every 12-15 years, a series of rainstorms coming in off the pacific one after another and another. grrrr please stop!



7. decided to blog!
8. then decided to eat a cookie first.
9. watched grey's anatomy reruns on lifetime. yuuppppp.
10. spent forever getting all these pictures into this post, seriously they should invent a simpler way to do this. jebus!


So, here are some of my current craft projects. Some are done and some are in-progress. Many are in Balitmore, which means they won't appear on this blog till I'm back there mid-january.

Finished Projects:

Flower Decorated Throw Pillows
-technique: felt pillows embroidered with cotton yarn, "yoyo" cloth flowers (i'll do a tutorial on them someday) with vintage button centers, backed with a patterned wool fabric, and a crochet trim. (the little one doesn't have the crochet trim yet but let's just imagine.)


Grandpa Scarf
-technique: crochet, alternating rows of double and single crochet stitches. Creates a nice, simple, gender-neutral/slightly masculin scarf. Good for Grandpas, Brothers, Boyfriends, Dads, whomevers!

Lace Scarf
- technique: crochet open-work lace mesh stitch with flower decoration at the edges. Followed a pattern by Drops Crochet,
link: http://www.garnstudio.com/lang/en/visoppskrift.php?d_nr=104&d_id=11&lang=us



Grey Beanie
- just a little crocheted hat i made at some point while in france. don't remember the stitch, but looks like I used double crochet clusters.



In-Progress Projects:

Granny-square Baby Blanket for baby Charlotte
My cousin Shayna had a baby in September! The first of the new generation, it's very exciting!!! Shayna is 12 years older than me, she was the first to get married and then the first to have a baby. So, I'm making baby Charlotte a little blanket, especially because her great-grandma, my grandma's sister Freda, isn't here to crochet anymore and I'm sure she would have already crocheted and sewed that little girl an entire warddrobe. technique is crochet granny squares.

Rainbow Bobble Afghan
technique: triple crochet clusters. I started this blanket with yarn I bought last year in San Francisco at an amazing craft store, but then ran out of yarn and need to order more before finishing this. It's very warm and colorful, which I like, clearly.




Giant Doily Tablecloth
this one is in Baltimore, but it's going to be very cool. Similar to the thing I made in May for my host parents, but an oblong shape. Here's the pattern: http://www.learn-how-to-crochet.com/doily.html Colors will be teal, dark green, lime green.

Oh Hey World

Oh heeeyyyy world, there you are!!
So after I got back to the US, I stopped blogging. If anyone actually reads this blog, they may have noticed the 6 or 7 month "hiatus." I found that blogging during school was stressful and often I just forgot that I even had a blog. I had to spend way too much time staying up far too late studying, working at my part-time librarian gig, and when not in a completely sleep deprived zombie state of academic stress, I was asleep on our sofa or eating macaroni and cheese. All of this, I realize, is fairly typical of college students, but I just couldn't find the time to blog.

But, as a new years resolution, I aim to start blogging again. This will be my final semester at Hopkins, which is a terrifying, thrilling, daunting and wonderful concept. I'd like to remember it in detail! Also, I aim to get my etsy shop up and running, and I want to use this blog more to document my crafting and as a sounding board for new projects.
Crafting is therapeutic to me, and while some of my friends may know me as their pseudo-grandma who will darn their socks or mittens and is most often found crocheting on the sofa drinking strong tea, I don't see this as odd for a 22 year old at all. Well, maybe for an average 22 year old, but for me, it seems to fit. I am a septuagenarian at heart, I accept this, and I embrace it. This little personality quirk of mine lets me be the creative crafter I am, and I love that. I also consider it an honor to continue in the steps of my late grandmother and great aunt, her sister Freda, who were amazing crafting, spunky old ladies who crocheted and sewed and needle-pointed to the skies and back. They were both absolutely crazy but also wonderful, I miss them very much and like the fact that my hobbies reflect theirs.

This new, second version of this blog (which I hope I really will be able to sustain and post on regularly) will also reflect a new life decision I made recently, or rather a new life path I've chosen to pursue. As an art history major, I thought for a long time that I was going to pursue a PhD in art history after college, with the end goal of either working in a museum, or more likely, writing art criticism for an arts publication like Art Forum or Art News. I recently realized though, that I'm not that interested in research, don't want to get a PhD (at least not that this stage in my life), am not that interested in a career in museums, don't want to spend five years (or more) of my life in a research program that will lead to academic pursuits/academia when I don't want to work in academia and blablabla, basically no more PhD for me. What I am interested in, is design.

Interior design or textile design or surface pattern design, I love it all! I'm applying for internships now, and trying to introduce myself to the field and get a better orientation into the field and figure out how to pursue a career in design. Aaahhhh it feels so good to say it/type it, out loud! I won't apply to any graduate programs this year, because I need to build up my portfolio first and understand the field more before that. I aim to apply to schools next year, for fall 2012 being the start date.

So there you have it, world. My big update!!! It feels pretty good to be blogging again. I'm excited about all these new ventures, albeit slightly overwhelmed, but only slightly, which is probably normal. Let the wild rumpus begin!!!

Return!

Well, I've been off the airwaves (internet waves?) for quite some time. Ooops!

I enjoyed my time at home, short that it was. LA was filled with seeing old friends, sleeping in, swimming, watermelon, cooking and experimenting in the kitchen, and crafting. I didn't take pictures of anything! So not blogger-y of me! Again, ooops! it was the summer sunshine obscuring my vision, and sense of time. Before I knew it, it was time to return to Baltimore, to do thesis research, theoretically. Well, I've been here for exactly two weeks and not much thesis research has been done, my adviser doesn't seem pleased with that.... but I'm working on it, honestly. Ehh, not too hard I'll admit. I've been having trouble waking up at a decent time and it's so humid here I can hardly make myself leave the apartment so i've only gone to the library a few times. I haven't been feeling very productive, I'm kind of in a summer-vacuum rut, as in since i have no class and work hasn't started up again, i have nothing to do adn no responsabilities, and i'm acting like it.

I should-- no must, must, MUST- work on this in the next week. But for now, I'm going to cook some tofu, maybe I'll be proactive on the blogging front and actually document my process. Unlike yesterday when I made beet-sweet potat0-arugula hashbrowns and nectarine relish!

Classes start in a week and yet it doesn't seem real....summer is ending too quickly, slipping away without me really noticing how fast time is going by. eeek!

Home At Last

Well, I got home Friday night, and I have sooo much to update about. But I'm still so jetlagged so I'm going to put it off for a while yet. Hopefully tomorrow I'll get around to it, but let's just leave it with this:

I had amazing adventures!
I explored new places, ate new things, heard new languages, learned about myself, got sunburnt, ate licorice a billion times, I went to Oxford, Oslo, Stockholm, Copenhagen, Prague, Vienna, and Berlin.
I saw so many things and had so much fun!
Then I had to travel 18 hours (9 hour flight from berlin to new york, 3 hour layover, 6 hour flight from new york to LA) and finally reached home!

It feels nice to be home, have a fridge full of food, pleasant sunshine and heat without humidity, my own bed and room, and to be with friends and family after so long without them!

The End Has No End

Ok, so maybe I stole the title of this post from a strokes song, but still, it seems fitting to the situation. I am leaving Paris tomorrow, and I cannot believe how fast this semester has gone by. It seems so surreal and weird that APA is over, mom's visit is over (well, they're leaving tomorrow also), Paris is over, France is over. Of course, the city and country continue to exist, but my time here is over. it's strange because the abstract, mental notion of time, the hours, the days, weeks and months, is certainly over, that i cannot contest. but, my sense of time, the piece of my life i had allocated to this experience, that does not feel done or over at all. i doubt it ever really will, it's similar to how i feel at the end of camp each summer but more exagerrated because i've been here for 5 months. It makes me nervous about graduating next year, even though that's still a year away! Normally I would say a year is a long time, but since the last 5 months took place in 3 hours, I'm not so sure anymore.

Anyways, I don't feel ready to leave, even though; a) i'm super excited for my grande voyage europeenne with amandatron, b) i do miss america and my family c) i was ready to let to academic semester fall peacefully into the night, ride off into the sunset, etc etc, actually i was pretty glad to kick this academic semester in the ass until it surrendered, defeated and wimpering, d) i'm really excited about being in LA for the little chunk of summer I will be there, and e) this was the most amazing experience and I'm so grateful i was able to have such a truly dream-like and wonderful opportunity.

Mom and Aunt Judy's visit has been mixed, to be honest. I think we all drove each other a little crazy, as Noah said, what happens when you put 3 breslers in to a 2 person apartment for 10 days? Add humidity to that equation and the answer you get is MADNESS! Not really, nothing insane happened, but first I was mad at my mom and then both my mom and i got fed up with my aunt. I was mad at my mom cause the morning my aunt got here, when my mom had already been here for 2 days, she told me my cats "had disappeared." We got these cats when I was 8, making them 13 years old, and they have been with my family as cherished pets for these last 13 years, except for recently they've been driving my parents insane with their nasty habit of peeing and shitting in random places around our house. Ok so I admit, this is disgusting and very bad of the cats, but a) i think they do it partially because they're old and incontinent, and b) partially because they can sense that my parents hate them/harbor resentment to them and want to punish my parents in some weird way. So, a few months ago, my parents told me they were going to start keeping the cats outdoors more, when they had always been indoor cats up till that point. I said ok as long as the cats always came home and were always fed and safe. Well, turns out, first Lucy ran away for a FEW WEEKS, then came back, then Fidget, my baby, my kitten, the one I picked out myself when i was 8 one summer day in the adoption fair at Petco because he was sitting in the water dish which I thought was funny, disappeared and did not come back. Then a little while later, like 10 days, Lucy ran away and also didn't come back. My mom says this to me in a nonchalent, these are the facts voice, no passion or emotion, it did not seem like she was affected at all. What's more this happened over a month ago, and she waited to tell me until she could tell me in person in Paris, then she decided to tell me in front of my aunt as we're having breakfast?!?!?!!! yeah, good plan mom, that'll lessen the blow that my beloved cats are gone, good thinking. Ugh!!! I asked her what they did to try to find them, and long story short, not much. No posters around the neighborhood, no midnight drives to see if they're around, they called the pound a few times and checked the lost animal registry. My brother said it seemed almost like they were glad, like their prayers had been answered and the stupid cats who shit on the floors were off their hands. Obviously I was incredibly incredibly upset, yelled at my mom about not doing more to find them, discussed everything with my brother to get his opinion, he agreed that our parents weren't proactive enough to find them, then i cried on skype to annie, sent a few passionate and angry and sad emails (ie hysteric rantings) to some people, and cried for most of the morning. It is so so so upsetting to me to think that they're gone, I can't stop wondering what kind of animal ripped them apart and ate them or what kind of car hit them in the road. It's just terrible! And I was SOOO looking forward to coming home and seeing them again, I have really missed them these last months. I feel very betrayed by my parents about this, I don't know why they thought elderly cats who had been indoor all their lives could suddenly transition to being outdoor cats, and i REALLY REALLY don't understand why they didn't do anything sooner, didn't put them back inside after lucy ran away the first time, and most importantly, why they didn't do more to try to find them once they were gone. Even if they were a bit glad to be rid of the burden, which i do have a problem with if they did feel that, they should have thought, gee our kids are super attached to these cats adn they will be crushed if the cats are never seen again, we should do more to try to get them back. you don't just shrug your shoulders and say oh well when your pets of 13 years run off, you do something about it and put in an honest effort. Obviously I'm still really angry, upset, and very very sad about the whole situation, but also it hasn't even really hit me because I haven't gone home to my house and seen it cat-less. It's a pretty traumatic way to lose a pet if you ask me, and I also lost a lot of respect for my parents.

I didn't continue to act mad at my mom because she's in Paris and I didn't want to ruin the visit, but I'm still deeply hurt. I didn't want to blog about it until now because it's still very fresh and raw and writing about it is upsetting. Makes it seem more real. Also, my aunt began getting on my nerves, taking the attention off how upset with my mom I was. Aunt Judy just has some quirks and personality traits that wore down my nerves, nothing noteworthy really, just a general lack of consideration because she lives alone and isn't used to thinking of others when for example, getting the groceries. When all you come home with is loquats, whole milk, stinky cheese and cheese danish, there will be a problem. And she is very set in her ways, likes to be right, enjoys feeling superior as the winner of an argument, and will continue to argue on ridiculous premises that she has zero knowledge base for even when she is being proved wrong by many many people/sources. (example, she STILL thinks that the euro is less than the dollar, after having it explained to her 10000 times and being in France for a week, she insists still that 20 euros is like 15 dollars, when really its more like 30 dollars.)

Anyways, despite those details and the news of my cats, my last week in paris has been fun, we've seen a lot, been to many museums, adn the weather hasn't been terrible, and i ate two different croque provencales from different places that were scrumptious, not to mention, we ate lots of good dinners out. we didn't see all i wanted to, but it was a good week nonetheless, and i bought a sundress for 20 euro!!

Momma is here!!! So exciting!

Tuesday I moved all my crap into Dani's apartment, which took 4 metro trips, and bruised up my shins and knees in the process, along with pulling a muscle in my upper arm and callusing my palms. Isn't moving swell? Then, two days later I did it again on Thursday into the place I'm staying with my mom (and aunt when she gets here). Oy! My hands still ache a little. My mom had to come one day later than planned because my dad had emergency surgery, which is so scary! But he's doing fine now, they gave him two weeks off and he already feels like he can work so he's "enjoying an impromptu vacation!" excuse me dad, but you had an organ removed from your body, i kinda doubt you're up and running at 100% 2 days later! It was a useless organ nevertheless, you can live without your gallbladder for sure and they've gotten smaller evolutionarily. I like to entertain the thought that I am evolutionary evolved because I don't have wisdom teeth, never will, as in they are not present in my body at all. Which is sweet! I could be the "mutation" gene that sets a new precedent in the gene pool! I better have like 100 kids then right? Hmm, maybe I don't like this idea as much anymore. I was also missing one adult tooth (I have a fake one!) so maybe I'm too evolved?

anyways, now my dad is doing fine, and my mom is here and we're having a great time! We had a bit of trouble finding each other in the airport, sort of a whose on first situation, but now we're just enjoying some wonderful parisian sunshine before it starts raining and cools off tomorrow. Today I'm going to take her to the Latin Quarter to see the Sorbonne, the place where I had my classes (the Sorbonne's Institut d'Art et Archaeologie), Blvd St Michel, Blvd St Germain, then we'll cross the bridge and go on to the ile de la cite and go to Notre Dame, then back over to the Jardin du Luxembourg, including a stop at the delicious ice cream vendor old man (the ice cream is delicious, the old man is, well, he's kinda crusty) for some lavender flavored deliciousness! Or fig flavored deliciousness! Or that pistachio was really good too, and the caramel.........oh crap.

All Packed

Well I finally finished packing up EVERYTHING!!! I have way way way too much stuff! I bought a new little suitcase at some point this semester before i went on my spring break trip to England, and even with that extra suitcase I still had to cram everything in, and use 2 plastic shopping bags, one of which contains only yarn! It's insane how much shit I have! Ay ay ay!

I've been trying to get presents for people, just little things to give when I get back this summer/restart school next fall. I won't mention what I'm getting my friends on the off-chance anyone reads this blog, but it's been challenging trying to find things. For my mom I got a ton of stuff cause it's also for mother's day, but I got her a mug and some nice tea, and i got my dad a mug and some expresso, for he is a grand coffee connaisseur. I got my brother one of our favorite childhood books in French, and some fancy chopsticks with a hokusai print on them. I still have to figure out the rest of extended family, if i want to get them anything, and finish figuring out what to get my friends, especially guy friends, since I can't just buy them nail polish or something. I mean, I think I could, but I think it would strike them pretty weird if Iwere to do that.

In a few minutes I'm going to leave the apt with my first trip of luggage, my first of 3! I have two ginormous suitcases, one smaller one, a small duffel bag, my giant bookbag crammed full of crap, and my two shopping bags, one of yarn and one of things I couldn't fit anywhere. And then I have 2 shoeboxes full of little things that I will grab later after I come back here for dinner. It's so weird to be moving out!!! I can't believe this semester is over! It seems like not long ago at all that I first arrived at the apartment and saw my cute little (ok, its fucking tiny) room and unpacked my mounds and mounds of clothing into a tiny tiny armoire. Ugh why do I have so much stufffffffff!!!!!!!!!!!!! Its toooo muchhh!!!!

In Denial

I cannot believe this semester has ended. It is utterly unbelieveable! I am in complete denial! It was a hard semester, for many reasons, but still I'm sad to see it go. On the one hand, I feel ready to leave France and just go home and chill with my family, go swimming, dip my feet in the pacific, eat tacos, burritos, papusas, enchiladas, tamales (hey im a southern california girl after all), spend time with my friends and family, and see my kitties! Being away from home for so long, and in a completely unfamiliar country where the language, culture, customs, and food were totally different (i've eaten eggs so many times now! vom vom vom) has been really tough but it's also been an amazing experience. When else in my life will i have the chance to do this again? Never! At least, not within the same context and with the same people. Nonetheless, it gets weary and you just miss home after a while, where people eat blackbeans and corn and you can go to a movie without needing subtitles.

However, this semester has been too amazing for words. I haven't blogged as much as I meant to/wish I had (whoops, another new years resolution inachieved) so i haven't really expressed it here, but really...this semester changed me. It sounds cheesy and dumb, but it's true. I met so many amazing people who now I can't imagine not having in my life, to the extent we're already planning reunions for the fall (thank god almost all of APA goes to school in either DC or Philly, reunions will be a snap!). Classes were hard but interesting, and I cannot believe I took 5 classes entirely in French in what was only my 6th semester studying the language! I'm proud of myself, but really I owe it to the amazing immersion program I was on. Speaking French on a daily basis with my host parents, taking classes at the Sorbonne and Pantheon-Sorbonne directly with other french university students, and really living in Paris, and not in a dorm or university campus, has been so impactful. It's really strange to think that it's all about to disappear, this fairytale land I've been living in since January. I have been so profoundly lucky that it makes me catch my breath.

I'm excited for my mom and aunt judy to come visit, i have missed my mom so much! and aunt judy, while she can get annoying and isn't the best at interpersonal relations, has gotten much more tolerable in recent years and hey, she became a vegetarian, so points for that! it'll be so fun to have them here tour them around my paris! i'm also super excited for my travels with amanda, even though they still feel so far away. I'll be in Paris with Mom and Aunt J till June 12, then leaving for Oxford, and hanging out till Amandatron finishes her semester around June 22 i think. Then off we go to Scandinavia! Copenhagen, Helsinki, Stockholm, maybe Oslo, and then Prague and Vienna and maybe Budapest. I'm soooo stoked but it seems so unreal cause we still haven't planned anything (eeek!!!).

I still just can't comprehend how fast this semester has passed by, I don't want my amazing experience to end! Already so many APA friends are leaving or have left, and it seems like my belle vie a la francaise is unravelling at the seams. And tomorrow, Taylor leaves. I know I'll see her this summer when we're in LA and often next year, but it seems nonetheless that this will be a difficult goodbye. Only a few times in my life before now have I become sisters with someone so fast, and as with Annie and Hadas, I know Taylor is a best friend I'll always have in my life. It just feels like it won't be exactly the same as it was this semester, when i got to spend countless hours everyday with her! In her words, she is definitely in my tribe!

Gaahhhh I'm getting so emotional and waxing poetic to a computer screen, but really I just can't help it. One practical sidenote: I am still completely unpacked. Ummm quite a daunting task this will be. Thanks for a great semester, study abroad gods!

Crochet Pineapple Progress

My work on the crochet pineapple tablecloth, which i thought would be really hard, is coming along really well and quickly! it's so easy! the pattern has a lot of repetition but enough changes to keep it interesting. i can't wait to make another one for my mom and maybe even another for my apartment in baltimore. i thought i would include some pics so you could finally see what i'm talking about with this whole pineapple business. i should be writing a paper, or asleep, but what ya gonna do? im oddly ambivalent and completely unmotivated this year for finals, im way too burnt out and apathetic to even care right now/the last few weeks. i need a break and i am kinda feeling ready to leave Paris. i love it here and i've been having the most amazing experience of my life, but it is a long time to be away from home and out of my comfort zone.

crochet crochet crochet! all i want to do all day is craft, it's kinda a problem when there are papers and 11 exams left to take. (Why I have 11 exams for 5 classes is just Satan's work/the french university system/ unfair. don't wanna talk about it) This is the first time I've ever put pictures on the blog so if it doesn't work right, then whoops my bad! (Clockwise from top left: 1. the tablecloth: a work in progress! it is splayed out on my bed, and it covers the width of my twin bed! so much bigger than i thought it would be at this point!, 2. a close up view of the pineapple pattern, 3. a piece of paper (my final exam schedule baarrghhhhhhffffffkkkk) on the tablecloth for scale, and 4. a broach/pin i bought at an adorable adorable store today full of the cutest things for crafting, home decor, randomness, and clothing (it was kinda like a smaller girlier version of Amsterdam's Kitsch Kitchen, my favorite place in the world.) and the best espadrille sandals ever that were super out of my price range.

Current Book Wish List

1. Handmade Modern: mid century projects for your home by TODD OLDHAM
2. Creativity Inc.
3. the Design Sponge BOOK !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
4. Scandinavian Needlecraft (just look at the cutest embroidered bird on the cover! http://www.amazon.com/Scandinavian-Needlecraft-Step-step-Projects/dp/1907030220/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1272389613&sr=1-1)
5. Kid Made Modern also by Mr. Oldhamm
6. Handmade Nation: The Rise of DIY

I would also like this semester to end without me actually having to take finals and write papers, thank-you. I would also like more coffee.

Sleeping

I have recently discovered something. I think it might be a major life discovery. Background info: I have never slept like a normal person. I am driven to stay up late, incapable of forcing myself to go to bed early, fairly incapable of waking up on time if on time means the early morning, am always exhausted during the day because i never get much sleep at night because i've had to wake up early, can easily pull all-nighters and so it way more often than most people, and i don't get tired until around 2-3 am. Up until yesterday, I thought I was just a nightowl, not a morning lark, and that I was just unique in that my peak activity hours were in the evening/at night.

Then I decided I might be nocturnal and went to wikipedia to see what it had to say about the possibility of nocturnality in people. I was reading just the general article about nocturnality and what makes some animals nocturnal and some animals diurnal, and it mentioned that for humans a similar phenomenon to nocturnality was Delayed Sleep Phase Syndrom (DSPS). I immediately clicked on the link to that article, read it, and was ASTOUNDED! Now I'm not usually a hypochondriac, but there have been other times when I read about some syndrom or disorder on wiki and thought I might have it because I could relate to a few of the symptoms or one thing in the article seemd to fit my life. This DSPS article was not like that, it was as if it was written specifically about me. Every single sentence and symptom it listed are things i relate to 100% and experience every single day of my life. I really think I might have this syndrom, which is a circadian rhthym disorder (the circadian rhythm is our biological clock that tells us rise with the sun/light, sleep with the sunsent/dark.) I have never read anything else in the world I have related to on so many levels, every single level possible, even for the diseases/conditions I know that I have/have long been diagnosed as having and treated for (a chronic allergy pulmonary condition called *surprise surprise* chronic broncheal sinusitic allergic rhinitis = chronic lungs and sinuses nasal allergies/ the reason i'm allergic to most things in the world. it's like basic hay fever on crack to summarize).

So back to DSPS, it is as summarized by wiki, "a circadian rhythm sleep disorder, a chronic disorder of the timing of sleep, peak period of alertness, the core body temperature rhythm, hormonal and other daily rhythms relative to societal norms. People with DSPS tend to fall asleep some hours after midnight and have difficulty waking up in the morning." The symptoms listed are as follows;

1. There is an intractable delay in the phase of the major sleep period in relation to the desired clock time, as evidenced by a chronic or recurrent complaint of inability to fall asleep at a desired conventional clock time together with the inability to awaken at a desired and socially acceptable time.
2. When not required to maintain a strict schedule, patients will exhibit normal sleep quality and duration for their age and maintain a delayed, but stable, phase of entrainment to local time.
3. Patients have little or no reported difficulty in maintaining sleep once sleep has begun.
4. Patients have a relatively severe to absolute inability to advance the sleep phase to earlier hours by enforcing conventional sleep and wake times.
5. Sleep-wake logs and/or actigraphy monitoring for at least two weeks document a consistent habitual pattern of sleep onsets, usually later than 2 a.m., and lengthy sleeps.
6. Occasional noncircadian days may occur (i.e., sleep is "skipped" for an entire day and night plus some portion of the following day), followed by a sleep period lasting 12 to 18 hours.
7. The symptoms do not meet the criteria for any other sleep disorder causing inability to initiate sleep or excessive sleepiness.
8. If any of the following laboratory methods is used, it must demonstrate a delay in the timing of the habitual sleep period: 1) Twenty-four-hour polysomnographic monitoring (or by means of two consecutive nights of polysomnography and an intervening multiple sleep latency test), 2) Continuous temperature monitoring showing that the time of the absolute temperature nadir is delayed into the second half of the habitual (delayed) sleep episode.

So other than the last one about lab tests, I have experienced all of those symptoms every single day of my life, especially so for the last FEW YEARS!!!! I always thought I was just a night owl, but now I feel so astonished, overwhelmed, happy and sad that there is a good chance I have this disorder and therefore a reason for my bizarre sleeping habits. There are treatments for DSPS, but it's mostly a case by case basis of managing the condition and living with it. There is no cure, and if I do have it, I'll have to go through some different treatments to figure out which one works for me, some of the most common ones being light therapy, melatonin supplements, vitamin B12, and a few perscription drugs that have shown to help, along with efforts to change the sleeping cycle upheld and practiced every single day. It's a pretty scary thought, but also oddly exhilerating to know that there may be a reason for all of it. I'm going to start keeping a sleep log and hope to see a specialist when i get back to california this summer. I can't wait to find out, the idea of maybe having to start weird treatments for it is a scary thought, but the idea of knowing why I'm like this is refreshing and exciting. It's a really rare condition (3 in 2,000), and there may even be support groups, and there are definitely groups like that and blogs about it online along with a related condition called Non-24 Sleep-Hour-Wake Syndrom.

here's the link to the article for anyone interested, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Delayed_sleep_phase_syndrome

In other news, my crazy crochet pineapple tablecloth project is going super well after scrapping the initial pattern which was just not working and finding a different one that is even cuter and working so much better. It's a beautiful pattern, is working up quickly and pineapple stitch isn't even that hard after all, its intricate and you have to count stitches and make sure not to mess up the pattern, but the crocheting itself is simple. I might make another one of them for my mom after I finish Monique and Maurice's. I love crochet so much! It's a good hobby and time waster when I should be studying for the insane amount of exams and projects I have coming up!

why i love being an art historian

currently in the library at Michelet, l'institut d'art et d'archaeologie de la Sorbonne, doing research for a paper due tomorrow in my Impressionism class. Of course i started way late and am behind as usual, but i work well under pressure. i love doing research, especially when i read through my notes and realize how amazing some theorists and scholars out there are. notes from my research today in an exposition catalogue from the museum of modern art in Bologna on the nature of still life painting. (my essay is comparing two still lives, one by cezanne and one by monet, as a means of analysing both how the still life painting changed during impressionism and how both monet and cezanne left permanent footprints on painting that immensely changed art in the following generations leading up to modern art.)

staight from a purple spiral notebook in France:
* becoming > being re: reality
-- objects exist thanks to a process concieved in the picture and accomplished by perception and objects cannot be separated from this process
-- incessant seeing bound up w/ picture
-- content? --> banal vessels of supporting surfaces tell us/offer us an appearance that is constantly renewed, rejuvenated at every glance
-- objects become iconic physiognomies which attract us by the perpetual pleasure of looking
* Cezanne- nature not to be found at the surface
-- painter strives to discover nature through his work, to decipher nature through artisic means
** work of a still life painter = making the visible legible**
* Cezanne repeatedly stressed that the making of such a structure, the formation of a syntax = most difficult task in his painting
-- only when correct equivalent is found, when parallels btwn things have become evident, does the pure "motif", the pretext of the visible objects become the enduring texture/text of the picture
-- structure of the meaning of things, then appears in an intensified way in the artificial order of the still life
* Cezanne's still life painting = attempt to rescue phenomena
-- historical and cultural contexts
-- Cezanne's emphasis on the role of perception was accompagnied by an equally powerful skepticism as regards the reliability of perception
-- look closely "sur le motif", critically examine that perception, interpret it not as something self-evident but as an explicit act of translation, precisely b/c material reality seemed to Cezanne so intangible
-- process of differentiation necessary before material reality can be captured
-- absorb in objects in order to explore the equivalents that could lend them duration, presence, and clarified visibility
-- Cezanne's rescue = an aesthetic rescue, definition of painting = aesthetic rescue

that is the most perfect definition of painting i have ever encountered. i love the way the author got to that point, nothing has ever made more sense to me ever. if you're not a huge dork like me, and this didn't interest you at all, then sorry for wasting your time, but come on! that's fascinating! goodness only knows how much i love art history for moments like that. aesthetic rescue!!!

Recent Things

1. I cannot believe it is already May! This semester is going by INSANELY quickly!
2. I cannot believe it was 9 degrees (C) today! It's May for goodness' sake! What is this below 50 weather and rain and wind and HAIL? Are you kidding me? HAIL??!?!?!!
3. I am addicted to How I Met Your Mother! What an AWESOME show! Yeah. Self-five. Whaddup.
4. umm I have an exam tomorrow morning at 9:30 with my least favorite professor of my least favorite class on my least favorite subject. Yeah, studying for that one is going just greeeaaaattt! It is actually a make-up exam the prof begrudgingly gave me after I like begged and begged because the real exam was my first real day of the stomach virus. I think I might bring my doctor's papers to show her just so she knows I mean business when I say I spent all day with a 39+ fever (102+) and "stomach issues." Just the sight of this professor makes me actually want to projectile vomit, into her HAIR, or her stupid little pointy mouse face! Grrrr! She also has the longest name ever and her email, instead of initials or anything, is her entire double hyphenated name. That's right, both her first and last names are hyphenated. Silly France.
5. I miss American food.
6. Spring break in England was AMAZING! but more details on that later (and yes Celeste, Hall really was THAT good. food comas ensued. also, drunkeness and drunkenly kissing boys. and wearing short skirts. but like i said, more on that later.)
7. is this semester really winding down? will i really have to leave France? NOOOOO
8. Parts of me can't wait to leave France (haha conflicted much internal dialogue?) and spend my summer travelling with Amanda and then working on my crafts at home to supply Crafty Chatton/Cultured Bitch, me and Taylor's etsy shop! (theoretical etsy shop!) wooo! (theoretical woo!)
9. I have the attention span of a chicken.
10. Monique made an omelette for dinner tonight. A semi-runny omelette. I managed to eat it and just tried to think of the alphabet backwards while doing so instead of going BARGGGHHHH YUUUURRRGGGHHHHH THIS IS DISGUSTING I HATE YOU EGG WOMAN! I dont really hate her, only when she cooks me eggs. you all know how i feel about eggs
11. british baked goods --> happyface

that's it for now!

dreaming the impossible dream

I am embarking on the most impossible crochet project I have ever concieved of. Well, not that I concieved of it, it's a pattern I've been thinking about for years. Serious crocheters know that the pineapple pattern is one of the most difficult, if not the most difficult, and one of the very earliest crochet formations. So why would someone attempt to make a tablecloth that is insanely intricate and has a zillion pineapple formations? (they don't look like pineapples by the way, that's just their name for one reason or another.) Because she's crazzzyyy! And she has several long bus rides coming up, and I mean LONG bus rides....like crossing under the English channel long. Yeah, I'm going to England for my spring break! Even though this week currently was the first week, I haven't gone anywhere because of the stupid fucking volcano in iceland, so carolyn adn i had to cancel our irish adventure this week, which was really disappointing. Taylor had to cancel her trip through Spain as well, which she was going to take with her boyfriend Nick, except his flight was cancelled, rescheduled, cancelled again, rescheduled again, and cancelled yet again. So bottom line, he isn't coming to France, and she couldn't travel Spain all alone. In the words of the Beck song currently playing on my ipod (i love that crazy scientologist/beat dropper/my husband?) "It's a chain reaction!" So the positive out of all the ruined trips is that Taylor is coming with us to England! Wooo! No separating the trio!!! Haha. Mme Suraqui calls us the triplets, or sometimes just the three (les trois), which annoys us cause she thinks we're not friends with anyone else, but obviously we're friends with everyone, and our program has even clickier groups of 3 or 4 than us 3, who love everyone else. (except the socially awkward crazy girls, haha)

anyways, we leave sunday! Long ass bus to London (downloading movies and music to prep myself, also this crochet bohemoth) then short bus to Oxford, then visiting Amanda for Sunday-Thursday. Thursday short bus back to London, visit Bailey until Saturday! Saturday another long ass bus back to Paris! And then Monday, restart school adn have a TON of work to do for that week, which I should be doing now, but I'm not because im crocheting THE PINEAPPLE TABLECLOTH!!!

wooooooo
I'm excited to finally get out of Paris for a bit, especially since I missed the trip to the valley of the Loire. Au revoir until after break!!

crochet frenzy

first and foremost, i am officially better! Have been so since like Monday, but was still really limited in what I could eat all week until like yesterday and Weds. SO glad that mess is over, also have even more respect now (if thats even possible) for Celeste, because I feel like I got the smallest taste of her condition and it was awful, makes me feel like in awe of her that she is a functioning, happy, normal and amazing person all the while dealing with that shit (literally. bad pun?)

now onto other issues besides by gastro-intestinal system: CROCHET
i have actually been crocheting quite a lot since i've been in france, found a couple places to buy yarn at decent prices, though with meager selections. have a few more places bookmarked that i need to check out. since i've been here i have also taught carolyn and taylor to crochet, and made some addicts out of them too. taylor and i have some serious plans to start an etsy store together, and some silly plans to get a PACS (french version of civil union). but yeah, she is my crafty kindred spirit! So far I have crocheted: a maroon cowl with a lacy open-work pattern, a brown beret with bubble stitch, a grey hat with double crochet clusters, and started a zillion and ten other projects and then undid them midway through after deciding i didn't like them. i've made a few other things I can't remember as well haha. right now im working on a pattern i'm creating myself. usually my patterns end up not working out cause i realize i didn't quite get the math right, or the stitch combination only works on paper and not in practice. but so far this one is going well, it's for a table runner or placemat or square thingies of any domestic use you please, depending on how long you make the pattern. i want mine to be a table runner though, i think if i finish it, if i have enough yarn to do so, ill give it to my momma! i miss my parents so much lately. i'm a touch homesick still, i just miss america. taylor and i relented to our homesickness/cravings/devil's temptations and went to starbucks today. it was the same price for a grande latte as a normal cafe creme at a cafe, maybe 50 centimes more, for so much more coffee in volume. it tasted just like the lattes at home, and made me feel both comforted and like i was supporting an evil stupid corporation, and a coffee chain in a country that is known for its cafes and espresso. but damnit, it was good and im not ashamed. i read an article recently about how french have a different taste preference when it comes to coffee, they like dryer, more bitter, sharper beans and americans tend to like, deeper, softer, more robust beans. I definitely agree with this theory, it seems completely true to me. not to mention the whole espresso versus brewed coffee thing, espresso just makes the sharpness of the coffee here even more intense. it's like yes i want to wake up and have a caffeine pick me up, especially in the mornings and mid afternoons when i need the jolt of energy, but no i don't want to blow my face off by a too sharp, too intense, kick in the teeth cafe creme. i miss having a mellow but dark and deep and soothing cup of coffee with my daddyo on sunday mornings while doing the crossword puzzle and clearning out the fruit in the produce drawer- something we do a lot over the summer. aahhhhh i miss home! (and yes i call my father daddyo and he refers to himself as such when he writes me emails, he was a hippie and it's a silly little thing we've always done. and i call my mom mimzy, just because when i was like 10 i was so desperate to be unique and different i didnt want to call her mom like everyone else and i wished my name was more interesting/less common than sarah. i used to wish it was chrysanthemum hahahahha. oh lordy. but when im really down in the dumps or sick or whiney or whatever, i revert back to calling her momma unintentionally, i don't really know where this comes from, but it happens. oh momma, i miss you so! it's weird cause noah always just calls them mom and dad. so unoriginal!)

ok enough ranting and rumbling and grambling and grumbling and rambling and and and i'm out of otomatopoeias. tragic!

fresca!

i have just mentally planned the best summer picnic/barbecue/pool party menu in my head. If only I were home, if only it were July, if only it were hot, and if only I could eat things other than bananas, apple sauce, rice, potatoes, and tea. (current gastroenteritis diet of great variety and fun. not to mention, i hate bananas.)

but anyways I will make this summer bbq menu happen when im home in CA and hanging out with friends in my backyard, since my parents told me they just got patio furniture! finally! our last set either a)broke in the 94 earthquake, b)was just too ugly and got thrown away in 94, or c)otherwise disappeared before I hit first grade, or d) some combinations of the above. i'm a touch homesick right now because i'm sick, it's not warm enough here yet, and i can't eat anything, and monique keeps making me eat bananas.

enough moping! planned menu:
-grilled corn
- delicious salad with avocado, edamame, cherry tomatoes, and jicama, and whatever other veggies join the party with my blackberry avocado vinaigrette.
- grilled veggie burgers mexican style with guac and salsa and cheese (meat eaters can have whatever they want, i'll let them figure that shit out. but no cheese on their meat, not at my parent's house! soy cheeze acceptable, but gross)i might even home bake the buns for these babies!
- balsamic marinated berries, probably over either lemon sorbet or vanilla ice cream.
- fresh lemonade! or some alcoholic version thereof depending on where the parents are. i still feel awkward drinking in front of them even through im 21. maybe the red wine fresca combo plus chopped up citrus fruits that is delicious and frowned at by adults, ie- poor man's/college student's/sandra lee's (jahahahahaha) instant sangria! my god fresca sounds so good right now. too bad a) it doesn't exist here, b) i'm forbidden to eat anything citrus.

i will continue to dream about this elegant and fun backyard soiree as a distraction from the lingering stomach aches of this stupid sickness. next step: mentally planning the decor of course! when (not if, but when) this party actually takes place, i will document all the cooking for the foodie part of this blog. i know this blog is supposed to be 1/3 me talking, 1/3 crafts, and 1/3 cooking, but umm i can't really cook here in France sadly, and i haven't crafted all that much. so those other two sections of the blog will get kicked off in july when i go home! normally when i think about leaving i get really sad and don't want to leave, but right now, it seems like i just can't wait. i think it's just cause im under the weather and sick of the weather here!

anticipating the glorious summer months! let this stomach sickness be a kickstart to my summer weight loss goals?! yes? no? funny?/not? whatever, i want to be toned this year is the bottom line, i say that every year, and of course gastroenteritis is not the way to lose weight. it's all the tylenol and other french meds gone to my head!

oh my word

the most recent episode of bones!!! oh my goodness. finally!!! gaaaaaggghhhh!!!!! bones is such a damn fool! and my stomach flu is half better after getting a ton of medicine from a doctor. still not really eating solids, or feeling like im at full energy, but getting there!

i think ill take a nap. i missed out on the trip to the chateaux de la loire this weekend because of being sick, which sucks, but i need the time to recover. now you should go watch bones!!!

oh me oh my

i have the stomach flu. i am miserable. ive never vomited more in my life. yuck sorry. the flu made me say that. oy vey.

blargghhhh

ooooh my stomach hurts! twisting and turning and folding in upon itself. whenever my stomach hurts like this, i imagine it's like the inside of a clock, with all the gears turning in different directions and twisting around each other. i just tried brioche for the first time at breakfast, and i hope this is not the reasoning for painful stomach, because it was delicious and i want to eat it again sometime. it was like a softer, slightly sweeter version of challah.

other news: midterms and assignments are finally upon me. this whole semester was coasting by with barely any hw, just a weekly grammar worksheet in my french class which i would do the day of french class in the hour before hand, or on the metro, which Pascale, my teacher, thought was an excellent use of our commute. She'd be like, yes yes! metro is very parisian place to do homework!!! But then last week real assignments started coming in to play. I had an oral presentation last week on Berthe Morisot, that I completely over researched for, as is my curse, and then had to stay up late writing it after the night of the first Passover seder. Passover in France was very very interesting, but very exhausting and starvation-inducing.

Ok, so I didn't starve, but it was way harder to keep passover here, even with eating corn and beans and other seeds (kitniyot) which western european jews (sephardim) eat and eastern european jews (ashkenazim) do not eat. My family is ashkenazic, since my origins include Poland, Latvia, Belarus and maybe Germany (no one can remember where that one great grandfather was from, but it wasn't Latvia or Poland like the rest of them), so obvioulsy my family is very very Ashkenazic. I've been known to throw around yiddish words like others throw around a Frisbee! It's my mommaloshen, what can I tell you? And this little pisher loves to kvetch, ain't it the truth!! But since I was in France, obviously Western, I decided to be sephardic and eat rice and corn this year. Even so, passover was hard to keep with baguettes and croissants all around me. I went to my cousin's house for the seders, her name is Irit and she is my dad's second cousin from the Israeli branch of our family. My grandpa's family came to the US in between the two wars, or right after WWI (thank goodness), but then at some point one or two of his first cousins moved to ISrael to support the new state. So Irit was born in Israel, but then moved to France when she was a young adult, married a French Jew, and had 3 kids who have my hair color. I had always wondered where the blonde came from, now I know, it's from my grandpa. Whenever I asked him, Grandpa what color was your hair when you were young? (He's very very bald now and what's left is white and puffy like a cotton ball) he would just say, Yes dear I used to have hair! How about that!? But what color was it Grandpa? Did I get my blonde hair from you? This would always somehow segway into him telling me, for the zillionth time, about how I'm named for his mother and how she (Sarah Eisenberg Bresler, or Sarah Bresler #1) would have been an engineer if she had been born in a different generation. I love hearing the stories about her, she really was an engineer without the degree of course, but he never gets back to me about the whole hair color issue, and all the pictures of my grandpa when he's small are a) black and white, and b) there are only 2 such pictures. He's old, my grandpa is, his name is Arthur and he was born in 1922 I believe! Wow!

So anyways, I went to the seders at Irit's house, who is dirty blonde herself, and her three kids are also varying shades of dark blonde, so now I finally understand! Her kids are Talia (22), Keren (20), and Dan (15) and her husband's name is Simon. The seders were basically the same, a few different melodies here and there, and a few other differences, like sephardic charoset, eating lettuce as maror instead of horse radish, and eating radishes as karpas instead of parsley. For those of you reading who aren't Jewish, this makes no sense I'm sure but I don't want to take the time to explain the whole seder, that's wikipedia's job if you're really that curious. Oh, and the matzah ball soup was different/weird.

Ugh! My tummy is still twisting and turning and ouch! I have an exam tomorrow that I'm not ready for, and thus I am not going to my first class today so I can study, but I think I'm having an anxiety stomach ache! Bah! Gregghhhjjkklll!!! Mmmpph! Gadzooks!

updates:

Amanda visited this week! She arrived Saturday night and we fetched her from Gare du Nord (sketch as shit at night- this is a term I've come to realize is essential for life in Paris, where half the metro stops are SASAN) and then we had crepes! miam miam! and then we had an amazing bottle of wine, me, manderz, tay and caryl. it was called brouilly something and it was so good! then manda went to sleep at carolyn's and we all went home. the next few days were full of fun stuff, intermittent with working and studying, eating pastries and showing Amanda around, and for her, sitting through some of our classes in French and hunting down a hostel. She left today and I miss her already!! But I'm already guaranteed to see her at least twice more this semester, if not more. She's coming back to Paris at the end of the month, on her way to Italy, and I shall see her then. (Right now she's in the South of France, and then in morroco, such a traveller) and then carolyn and i are going to go to England, Ireland and maybe Scottland for our break. We need to plan that!

i ate a violet flavored macaron on Tuesday and it was HEAVEN. if this sounds weird to you, you are insane, violet and lavendar flavored things are some of the tastiest stuff around! lavendar ice cream anyone?

i need more peanut butter. withdrawal getting tougher.

black current jam = revelation of yum.

spectacle tonight was classical music, Stravinsky and Bruckner. I was keeping the classical feeling alive listening to Bach's organ works on my LONG ASS metro ride home, but then an accordian player came onto my metro car for like 5 stops playing horrible horrible polka and i couldn't hear the bach even with my volume up almost to max! i hate this about paris, people playing violin and accordian with backround music from an amp they wheel around with them, disrupting everyone's commute and taking up precious footroom on the metro. Then they walk up and down the aisle and ask for tips? Some say, un petit piece pour la musique? (a small piece/coin/change for the music?) but others are like "mon salaire?" excuse me, your salary??? you have to be kidding me!!! this is not your job, go away! and they're always like regular looking people who don't look that destitute or sometimes they are "gypsies."

white chocolate with hazelnuts = HOLY CRAP YUM

think im getting fat here, judging by all the food i've been blogging about

mm food

bah fat

whatever. old man asked me if i was a ballerina on the metro the other day, i was like what? he was like, ballerina?! you dance? ballet? you dance ballet! and i was like oh no, im not a ballerina. weird interaction but made me feel like maybe i'm not gaining as many kg as i think i am, cause ballerinas aren't often chubsters and they are graceful like birds. i take this as a complement. from an old tiny wrinkled man wearing a beret. what's up france?

spring weather is lovely and makes me happy. unhappy sidenote: must begin shaving my legs again after winter haitus.

ate indian food today, veg samosa and aloo gobi. and garlic naan. at our usual indian restaurant. was delicious!!

have a ton of work coming up. like an actual metric TON. TON TON TON. including; presentation tomorrow in france d'aujourd'hui, stupid silly class about nothing at all, presentation on tuesday in impressionism about a painting by berthe morisot, essay due end of march on a painting by emile bernard also for impressionism. Swamped from now till Tuesday, et en plus, Monday night starts Pesach! I'm going to ask impressionism teacher if i can turn in the essay on emile bernard maybe april 1 or 2 because of passover, monday and tuesday nights I won't be able to finish my work.

blegh passover. don't know how i'm going to survive eat here. might be sephardic and eat corn adn beans and rice. otherwise will die for sure, france = land of carbs. will look for some matzah in the market, however this seems unlikely.

i really am terrible terrible!

terrible, horrible, no good, very bad girl! that's me, because i havent updated this blog in over a month! for some reason i thought it had only been like 2 weeks, barely even. Time is flying SO extremely fast here! can't believe how quickly this semester is passing! i'm giving up on that whole catch-up recap thing because shit, at this point i'm 2 months behind and want to talk about the present!

It is FINALLY FINALLY warm here! I am so relieved because the coldness and never-ending winter were really making me depressed, and I hate my big winter coat which is 2 sizes to big on me and makes me look like I have on a football uniform under my coat- as in HUGE shoulders. For a while I thought the big coat, tiny girl phenomenon might look cute and retro, but I'm not that tiny and that coat was just fucking annoying. Also, the zipper breaks about 3 times a day and I have to get Carolyn and Taylor to help me with it. But now, all that is done with because IT'S SPRING!!!!! I've been wearing a short sleeved shirt, sweater/cardigan, and my spring-ish white coat which i bought this autumn for 25 dollars at forever 21. It's cute but gets dirty easily and it's made out of polyester, but it feels like fleece! The jardin du luxembourg is amazing, totally my new favorite place to just hang out and absorb the sun! paris is really so much more pleasant when you don't dread being outdoors! and when you can wear your flats without socks underneath!

Also, AMANDATRON is coming to visit this weekend! I'm SO SO SO SO SO EXCITED!!!!!!! We're going to finally catch up, drink tons of coffee, go to museums, get drunk on red wine, sit in the garden, and basically, have an awesome time. and eat cheese. I cannot wait!!!

I've eaten eggs twice more since last blogged about eggs. dying slowly. hatred of eggs growing as i see them more and more and more because it's easter-season. this is unreasonable and silly because the eggs i keep seeing are chocolate filled, and i don't even eat chocolate, but it makes me hate eggs even more just to see their shape in front of my face in every market and patisserie. BLARGH!

OH MON DIEU I also have to blog about my trip! Two weeks ago (end of feb/beginning of march) we had a one-week-long break from school, for no reason as far as I can tell other than that France hates working and going to school. (35 hour work week envy!)SO, me C & T jetted off (well, really we took the train) to Brussels, Amsterdam and Cologne!! It was such an amazing trip and made me feel so incredibly lucky to be in europe this semester nad have opportunities like this! We bought a eurail pass for 3 countries, which have to be bordering, for use of 5 travel days over 2 months. We went from Paris to Brussels, changing stations in the middle in Lille and one other town in Belgium (Mouscoux maybe? Mouscraux? Kinda sounded like moscow in a french accent) since there were no direct trains from Paris to Brussels because of the acciedent a few weeks before. We stayed in Brussels for 2 nights, and it was lovely. GORGEOUS city! Andrea had said there wasn't too much to see, but she is a big liar and I wish we had stayed longer! Flemmish is a funny sounding language! DETAILS OF GRAND ADVENTURE IN THE BAYS-BAS:

-26.02.10
On the train from PAris to brussels, the woman across from us had a 2 year old son, a 4 year old son and a baby. the two year old was adorable, he kept pulling off his hat and saying "Tapo!!" which was his baby approximation of "chapeau" or hat, in french. and the best part was that when the mother went to put her luggage on the rack thingy, she asked me to hold the baby for a minute. the new, tiny, squirmy little itty bitty infant baby! it was one of the best things EVER in my entire life. i want to have 400000 of them. Then we arrived in Brussels after train from Paris, stayed at Hostel Van Gogh. Arrived in the evening, settled in, had a kriek! and a framboise! in the bar in the Hostel lobby, smoky smoky little bar, but fun and great music playing! Kriek, which doesn't really have an exclamation point but which i love and was excited to write about, is a special sort of Brussels beer, called geuze, flavored with cherry! Cherry beer may sound weird but it is SO DAMN GOOD! geuze is only made in Brussels because it gets its unique taste from a bacteria that is only in a valley around Brussels, and within which the city is located. Kinda like sourdough bread in San Francisco, which I also love. Framboise is the same thing but flavored with raspberries, is shockingly pink, and not as good as kriek but still awesome. then we went to bed and KONKED OUT!

-27.02.10
after a meager breakfast at the hostel, i felt like i was going to die. you see, i got a visit from my aunt flo in the night, and well, i had the worst cramps of my entire existance. i really thought i might die. C & T had concerned faces on, because apparently I also looked like death. Then we walked to the Royal Museum of Fine Arts, and I felt a bit better for some reason. In the museum, I was far too distracted by all the BEAUTIFUL AMAZING GREAT art to even think about my uterus, thank god, so then the cramps got better. I freaked out in the museum because of all the Broodthaers pieces they had there! Entire installations from his fictional museum of modern art and eagles! He is my favorite Belgian artist, I adore him and his big piles of mussels. After the museum we went shopping/hunted around for vintage goodness. Then for lunch we had felafel and BElgian frites! We all got different sauces on our fries, even though the traditional one is mayonaise, i find that to be a disgusting thought. I got mustard, Carolyn got curry ketchup which was SO good, and Taylor got "samurai sauce" which was an odd shade of neon salmon/pink and we think was mayonaise mixed with sriracha or some other hot pepper sauce, but it wasn't as spicy as T wanted. The fries were so good though, adn the felafel had this lemony cabbage salad with the felafel balls. Yum! Then we were exhausted so we went back to the hostel and rested for a while, napping until dinner. For dinner, we knew we wanted to go to this special beer place afterwards, that is a bar but also a brewery, so we headed over there and then found a restaurant near by. After debating hte rude waiter, we ordered our food. I split a warm camembert & honey salad as well as pistou pasta with Taylor. Both were very good, the salad was delicious and the pasta had a ton of pine nuts and arugala leaves in the sauce. Then we went to the beer hall, called La Morte Subite, or the Sudden Death, and had some beers! I tried peche geuze this time, which was so sweet and tasted like peach soda, peach pie and beer all rolled into one, and faro which is just geuze that's a little sweetened (our map said, "faro used to be for the ladies. now though, it's more excepted for anyone to try it.") leave it to me to only drink bitch drinks, even when they're actually beer. After La Morte Subite, which was so fun and really was like a huge cafeteria with long tables where the only thing going on was happy people drinking beer, we went back to the hsotel and slept.

-28.02.10
this was the day we left Brussels and took the train to Amsterdam. First though, we hunted like MAD CRAZY GRUMPY HUNGOVER BITCHES to find a belgian waffle, because we hadn't tried one yet. We were trying to avoid the touristy, sugar covered, strawberry-laden, whipped cream covered variety because we wanted to experience the real mccoy. Finally we found a place that was a)open (it was Sunday adn everything closes down on SUndays there just like in most of Paris), b)served waffles, c) not too touristy. Too bad our waiter was actually the BIGGEST ASSHOLE OF THE WORLD, didn't want to take our order even though we were each ordering lunch, coffee and a waffle, which is therefore a lot of business, he kept walking away after each one of us ordered one thing, and we kept having to be like, "excusez-moi monsieur, mais est-ce qu'elle peut commander une boisson aussi?" (excuse me, but could she please order a drink also?) it was ridiculous. the food was like, eh whatever, another tomato and mozarella sandwhich is is always my only choice, and the waffle was actually bad. and there was a piece of paper inside carolyn's coffee, like when she finished it, there was a little bit of paper in the bottom of her cup. way worse than coffee grounds! i mean wtf, clean your dishes much!??? obviously, not a restaurant that was remembered fondly. we wrote a nasty note on the receipt and i contemplated peeing on the side of the building, but i didn't really have to pee and it was raining, so this seemed like it might've been a bad idea. then we got on the brussels metro to the train station and on to our train to amsterdam! we all crocheted a TON!!!! (i've taught both C and T and made them addicts! crochet monster zombies! woo!)We got into Amsterdam and took a cab to the hostel, during which I had this lovely gem of a conversation with the taxi driver.
Sarah- What is the best Dutch foor for us to try?
taxi-driver- bus? there are no bus, is tam!
S- what?
TD- bus? what you want?
S- dutch food?
TD- you take the tam maybe, you go to Sintum?
S- ok! (i had no idea what he was saying, clearly)
TD- ok? i don't know what you say!
S- it's ok! no problem!
TD- ok! ok!
it was funnier in real life.
then we got to the hostel at like 4:30, settled in, decided to nap till dinner. Before I napped though I planned some shit out with our europe guide book and the map. Travelling is exhausting though, so then I passed out. For dinner, we didn't really want to figure out the tram thingy to get into the city center and we didn't know what time it would stop running, so we decided to stay around the hostel. We ended up having dinner at an amazing and very cheap Turkish restaurant where we were pretty much the only diners, so they totally doted on us. It was amazing. We shared a humus appetizer with delicious crusty bread, and then T and I shared a veggie pizza which was pretty good and C had some turkish stew stuff that came with free rice pilaf! then we got free little mini baklavahs and cups of sweet turkish tea....many cups. we all peed like 3 times haha! it was awesome! Then we walked around the area our hostel was in and explored inside the hostel, then we went up to our room and crocheted a bit and then went to sleep.

-01.03.2010
We went to the Noordemarkt, a big flea market, and had a ton of fun. It was absolutely AMAZING! I bought a tiny little antique pillbox with flowers painted on it, for only 3 euro!, and T got a red blazer/jacket and a skirt, and C got a flannel shirt and a mexican style woven purse. I was sad none fo the clothes I found fit me or were worth the money being asked. I found a great cardigan but the woman wanted 25 euro, and it was acrylic so like.....not worth it. Then we went to this bakery called Lanksroon, upon recommendation from designsponge, and it was AMAZING!!!! We had these traditional dutch cookies called honingwafel, which are like 2 flat cookie discs filled with honey. Amazing buttery sweet goodness! And there was an adorable cat just chilling out on a chair in the bakery. Then we went to the Van Gogh Museum, which was expensive to get into, but so worth it! It was a great great museum, though it took us forever and a day to find the place. We went to a "coffeeshop" and had some "coffee." cough cough wink wink puff puff pass pass. fun! legal! awesome! Then we walked around a lot, got hungry eventually, and asked a girl in a souvenir shop where a good Dutch restaurant was. We followed her recommendation and ate at some place called Stoop and Stoop, which was kinda like a pub/restaurant. Kinda reminded me of this place called Tombs I went to in DC once when I was visiting my friend at Georgetown freshman year. I had tomato soup and bread with herb butter, more of that delicious light crusty bread like we had had the night before with the humus. we headed back to the hostel, ate some mint coated licorice from the vending machine and crocheted and talked for a long time.

-02.03.2010
we went to the Nieuwmarkt, pretty central kinda town square, to see the Waag, a 15th century building. it was a little disappointing because we were expecting a great medieval architectural edifice, and it was pretty cool architecturally, but you couldnt really go inside it because inside was an expensive touristy cafe. figures. Then we went to Cafe Latei, another DS recommendation, and had coffees, which were good but damn that place is CUTER THAN CUTE! There was a sign on the door that said "Thank you for you purchase, I missing you already." SO adorable and the decor was just like, what dreams are made of! And of course, another pretty, adorable lounging cat. Then we walked forever and ever to get to ARCAM, the architecture museum, which was like, ok. it was small and not that interesting, but there was a timeline of the development of the town of Amsterdam throughout its history which was neat. Then we went to a place called Foodism for lunch, yet another DS recommendation, which was delicious. Me and T split the mexican bean soup, the only blackbeans or bean anything i've yet had in europe, so so sad, and then I had a tomato, cheese, avocado sandwhich on tasty brown bread, along with a fresh mint tea. Then we hit up a store we passed by called Zipper, where I bought adorable flower printed sneakers to replace my olive/moss green fake ked sneakers which are dying slowly. Then we went to a place called Boekie Woekie which is an art book bookstore, all books about art, by artists, about artists, etc. It was nice but too expensive to get anything. We went to another "coffee shop" because we wanted to try edibles while we were in Amsterdam, but they contained chocolate so I actually just had a coffee. Taylor and Carolyn each had only part of one "space cake" but then they both ended up having TERRIBLE TERRIBLE trips that lasted ALL DAY! DISASTER! And all night! and part of the next day! we tried to find somewhere to eat, but they were both starting to really feel it, and not in a good way, so we went back to the hostel, got a felafel from nearby, and ate it in our room, along with more licorice. then we chatted and went to sleep, me and the two weird little space cadets- they talked about nonsensical, strange things in their delirium, i laughed and listened as T told me all about her grandparents and shared many odd stories.

-03.03.2010
we went to Dam Square to see some medieval architecture, and it was beautiful, but most of the cool buildings were under construction for some reason. Then we went to the Rijksmuseum,or state art museum, which was also under construction, so they had only a selection of their permanent collection up which was supposed to include all the masters. I saw Rubens and Vermeer, one Vermeer that is, and lots of Rembrandt, but no Van Eyck! Lots of Bosch, van Dyck and Hals, but only one Rogier van der Weyden. Art snob Sarah wasn't entirely pleased but ti was nice nonetheless. Then we went to the Negen Straats, or the Nine Streets, which are nine little streets full of vintage and funky and cute stores. It was lots of fun and we hit up a ton of vintage places! We then went to Kitsch Kitchen, THE BEST PLACE IN THE WORLD! It is the absolute most amazing store full of adorableness and kitsch and fun and cuteness and color and baaahhhhhhh i want to live there and own everything they have! I bought a little change purse and an ipod cover made out of yellow floral oilcloth, BIG BIG score!!!! Then we walked around a ton, "ate from the wall" which is to say in Holland there is this fast food place where it's like a vending machine, you put money into the wall and there are all these different choices, and then you open up a little drawer that's basically like a microwave/heating tray and pull out whatever you've purchased, thus pulling it out from the wall = eating from the wall. This was the most disgusting experience of my life i wanted to die and will never speak of it again. Then we walked around some more, and then had dinner at a Dutch restaurant where i had vegetarian hotchpotch, or mashed potatoes with other veggies smooshed in (endive and onions in my case, yum!) and it came with cheese croquettes which I didn't love but the potatoes were good. and we had some heinekins with our dinner, since we were in holland! then we just chilled at the hostel, crocheting (noticing a pattern here?), and decided not to go out because we were too tired adn we were leaving Amsterdam the next day. I am so sad we left, I LOVE that city and truly miss it. I want to live there. I am obsessed! Everyone rides around on adorably decorated bikes, the city is built on water so there are just a billin canals and bridges which are gorgeous and the architecture is so quaint and the people are nice and i want to learn dutch adn there was so much vintage and great fashion adn i really really want to live there! (for a little while at least, a year maybe?)

-04.03.2010
we had breakfast at the hostel as always, took the tram to the train station, and off we went. we were excited to be going to Cologne but so sad to leave Amsterdam, we all really loved that city! We got into Cologne around 4 pm, took a taxi to our hostel, which turned out to be a random ass house that some dude had made into a "hostel" that wasn't really in the center of the city. we had to pay in cash which the website didn't warn us about, so therefore which sucked and wiped us all out of cash, and the place was clean and all, but it was weird that it was just someone's house. i guess he was trying to make it b&b like, but it wasn't at all like that, quaint or cute or comfy, it was german and odd. we settled in, walked around the area around the hostel, had disgusting sandwiches for lunch that were so mayonaise laden i wanted to die, and then went back to the hostel and chilled since we didn't want to head into town yet. we napped for so long that we didn't leave the hostel until like 9:15 pm, and then went into the city center area to find somewhere to eat, but it took us so long to find the right palces and figure everything out that it was too late and all the restaurants were closed, so we just got felafel for dinner (at like 11 pm) from a stand on the street that was not very good. in fact, quite bad. sadface. then we went back to the hostel adn slept.

-05.03.2010
we went to Dom Cathedral, the 15th century cathedral in Cologne, and took a zillion pictures. It was gorgeous!!! Then we went to the Romanische-Germanische Museum, or the Roman-Germanic History Museum which was about the Eastern provinces of the Roman empire and how they were a mix of Roman Empirical culture and the celtic culture/vikings? of the area. it was interesting but man i was starving. there were many statues of penises which we found funny, and there were lots of unknown objects that the label would say "possibly related to the practices of a secret oriental mystery cult." we then decided to form our own secret oriental mystery cult. no you can't be in it, don't even ask. it's a secret that's why! We went to EngelbertstraSe, an area our guidebook said would have good cheap restaurants. We found a crepe restaurant, of all things, but they were crepes with very interesting fillings so we thought, why not? Mine was ratatouille, cheese and chili sauce, T's was sheeps cheese, spinach adn capers and C's was curry chicken and banana. Yeah. forreals. and she liked it! looked like a yellow mess to me! we walked around some more and checked out lots of little shops in that very studenty area and had fun, C bought a pair of blue leggings which she is in love with. Then we went back to the hostel to nap before dinner, getting coffees and a apple pastry to share on our way from the metro. I ordered in German adn apparently my accent was perfect, "tzvei koffee und eine apfelberliner," I have no idea if that's spelled right, but the woman was like nice german! everyone throughout the trip in cologne assumed i was german, slightly unnerving but makes sense. Later we went back into the town and found a German restaurant/pub for dinner, we had kolsch, Cologne's own special beer which only exists there and is DELICIOUS, little salads and schnitzel. I had vegetarian schnitzel, which it turns out meant breaded and fried cheese, served with potatoes and a lemon wedge. Was divine and oh-so-fattening! T and C split some giant chicken schnitzel monster! then we went to a small club/bar called Museum where we had another round of kolsch, our thirds, and then i had a passoa orange (passoa is like crack), T had a gin and tonic, adn carolyn had a few shots if i remember correctly, which i don't because i got drunk. then we happy drunks full of potatoes went back to the hostel.

-06.03.2010
we decided to sleep in and miss breakfast at the hostel, which wasn't missing much, since we were so exhausted and had been tired the entire trip. travelling and moving around, while amazing, is also quite exhausting, and there wasn't that much else to do in Cologne so we figured it wouldn't hurt to sleep in. Then we had lunch at some German restaurant, where I had coffee, french onion soup, and we all shared an order of riebekoochen, which the guidebook said were a cologne specialty. turns out they are latkes, served with apple sauce and all! so funny! delicious, but nothing i hadn't had before. as my mom said, there is a lot of overlap between host and minority culture, which of course i already knew, especially with Germany, since yiddish is mainly german. we went to the train station just to see what time our train would be the next day and find out if we needed a reservation or not, since sometimes you do adn sometimes you don't with the eurail pass, it just depends on the trainline. Turns out, all the trains leaving the 7th were completely booked and we had no other choice but to go back that night! Change of plans!!! We bought reservations for that afternoon's train, for 32 euro! on top of the price we paid back in PAris for our train passes, aggravating! We hurriedly did some other stuff in town, then went back to the hostel, packed up, explained it to the guy whose place it was, got our deposit back but not our money for that night which sucked because it wasn't enough notice. grrr! frustration! we then hung out in the train station for a while, waiting for our train to get there, eating soft pretzels and buying other food for dinner on the train. I got a little loafy thing of cheesey bread that was delectable! and a diet coke and a pastry, not exactly a balanced meal, but a) i bought it in a train station and b) it was delicious and c) it was my only option for food, the cheese bread i mean, not the coke nad pastry haha.

Well, then we got on the train to Paris at like 7:15 pm adn were back at Gare du Nord by like 10:30, not bad at all! Then I went home to my apartment, where I expected to find M&M,who had been gone the whole week before my vacation and the week of my vacation, spending the time in Toulouse where they have their other house and all their family. I hadn't seen them since before C's bday (a night of crazy drunken antics) which was Feb 19, and yet they weren't there still! I then saw a note from Monique that they had to go back to Toulouse because her mother was in the hospital! poor thing! she's pretty much ok though, she'd very old and frail and had fallen and is still recovering, but is doing alright. M&M came home that Monday and life has been back to normal since then! Classes are fine, life is good and spring is here!

Long post! Goodnight!